Crossovers Rock,Actually

 They're all over the place,they sell like hot cakes,and I used to hate them. I'm talking about Crossover SUVS and why my opinions on them changed. I used to think any SUV that wasn't good off road wasn't worth anything,but then I realized it's a sport utility vehicle. Being a rugged car/truck is only part of the equation,driving good and looking cool live up to the promised "sportiness." Not to mention,some models (Mostly Peugeot,DS and Lexus products) are actually quite good looking and (based on what I've read) have great driving dynamics. Plus even the so-so ones have cool names like "Rogue" or "Escape",so there's that,too. The one I most desire is the Isuzu VehiCROSS,it's cool looking (Yes,I went there),seems to drive pretty well,and is capable off road. (I plan on hauling my bike around quite a bit.) So yeah,I love crossovers now. Deal with it.

Random Essay: Why you should talk about your car like a ship or a train

    "It is well built,unique,artistry in motion." These can all be said about cars,seafaring ships,and steam engines. So it is not a stretch that cars should not only be given an elaborate name,but be referred to using feminine pronouns,unless it is an exception, something like "Herbie" or "General Lee." But why is this not as common as ship and train nomenclature? The answer is that people do not understand that cars are every bit as impressive as other vehicles. 

    Whereas a boat or a steam locomotive are known for their outside beauty,it is what is on the inside that counts for a car. The amazing engineering that makes these machines possible is taken for granted. From the suspension to the frame,to (most importantly) the engine,cars and trucks are true engineering beauty. There is a certain point when something becomes so well built that going without a name or being called "it" will simply not do. The vehicle has become art. Therefore elaborate names and referring to the mode of transportation as "her" are the solution. 

    To conclude,it is the marvel of engineering that is the automobile deserves to be talked about like a boat or steam locomotive because of how impressive they are. They are well built,have many of the same qualities as eachother,and should garner the same respect. So female pronouns and distinctive,individual  names should be the new normal for cars. Conversely,"it" and going without a name does not do autos justice at all. 

top 5 best Minivans

 

Some may dislike them,but I personally find these road trip queens to be awesome. That's right: We're talking about Minivans! Also included are my notes on where I'd road trip each of these boxy beauties.

1. Chrysler Pacifica Pinnacle- Not the average soccer mom van,this one has the fanciest interior that I've ever seen in a vehicle of its class. Diamond stitched leather and matching pillows will for sure make this one quite the comfortable ride. Road Trip Note: Get your kicks on Route 66,cause here I come.

2.  Oldsmobile Silhouette (Second Gen)- Unlike the first "Dustbuster" Silhouette,this one has gained a more formal look as well as actual build quality,meaning less break downs and no more random trim pieces falling off. Road Trip Note: I think the Rocky mountains are very pretty; time to go to Colorado.

3. Dodge Grand Caravan (Fifth Gen)- The car my mom owns and one of two cars I'm learning to drive on,this is about as straightforward as they come. It doesn't need very many fancy high-tech gizmos to make itself useful as a family hauler. Road Trip Note: I have road tripped it (twice). 

4. Chrysler Town And Country (Third Gen)- This is the car my grandmother used to own. I remember how spacious the interior was,mostly. Road Trip Note: I think Maine would be a cool place to see.

5. Plymouth Voyager (first gen)- The minivan that started it all,I would so drive this 1980s boxy-mobile. I just really like it. Road Trip Note: Might as well drive it through Michigan,where most of the great American vehicles are from.

Top 5 best Ford Products

 Welcome to this series of lists that go over my top 5 cars from each of the American big three (but the cars themselves don't have to be American).

1. Lotus Cortina (Mk1)- It's part Lotus,part vintage Ford,all awesome. I can't stress enough how much I adore this car.

2. Lotus Escort- I like this one for the same reasons I like the above car. It's just smaller.

3. Rs500 Cosworth- This thing is absolutely amazing. It's got an engine made by my favorite producer of engines,and is quite the race car because of it.

4. Rs200- Expect European Fords. It's one of the best rally cars I've ever seen.

5. Mustang McLaren M81- This is the best pony car ever made in my humble opinion. It's got a great suspension and nicely tuned engine,both done by McLaren.

(final version) Top 5 Pixar Cars characters

Here is the final version of my list of favorite (and least favorite) Cars characters. The rules are largely the same,except comic characters are now allowed as well. So,let's get started.

(Best)

1. Herbie: A cameo by my favorite fictional character of all time? Yes please!

2. Shu Todoroki: I love LMP race cars quite a bit. I also dig the dragon inspired paint job.

3. Rusty and Dusty: It's just good ol' Click and Clack doing what they do best: Cracking me up. Plus I like how one of them is Tom's infamous Dodge Dart.

4. Lewis Hamilton: One of my favorite racing drivers of all time playing himself. That's just epic.

5. Carla Veloso: Another Le Mans Prototype racer. Not much else to say.

(Worst)

1. Mia and Tia: These two are so annoying. They're the only Cars characters I downright hate.

2. Harv: No car to go along with the voice? That seems like wasted potential. 

3. Minny and Van: These two are just so stupid. I'm losing brain cells just from writing about them.

4. Francesco Bernoulli- I really do like F1, but this character is so unlikable. I just can't.

5. Wingo- I like Japanese cars,but I don't like it when they're completely riced. If it weren't for the smaller spoilers lining the inside of his big wing,I'd probably tolerate his design. 

Top 5 Best Racing Cars

 Here are my top 5 favorite race cars,but with a catch: I'm picking one from each of my favorite series.

Le Man's: Morgan Plus Four- My favorite car company and my favorite motorsport,it's that simple.

Formula 1: Lotus 79- It's aerodynamics are awe inspiring. The fact that it's a Lotus also helps.

Global Rallycross: Volkswagen Beetle- My favorite production car is the Volkswagen Bug. So of course this beast was going to make it on the list.

NASCAR: Hudson Hornet- My favorite American car ever was also a no-brainer. The nickname says it all; the thing is fabulous.

GT Racing (counting subclasses): Lotus Exige- Lotus is one of my favorite car companies,thanks  to their lightweight cars that always knock it out of the park. This one is a great example of why I like them so much. 

Top 5 Best Camaros/Firebirds

 I made a list of my favorite Mustangs,so why not be fair and give Ford's crosstown rivals a chance to bring their best as well?

1. Pontiac Pegasus- It's got a Ferrari engine and transmission,but with a modified Trans Am body and interior. I love it.

2. Turbo Trans Am- Smokey and the Bandit II,anyone? It may not be the fastest but it does have style.

3. Catfish Camaro- I love this thing due to its aerodynamic body and easy to tune engine. It really is a good car.

4. IROC Camaro- It's light and has good handling,the two things I want from a sports coupe,even if it's a muscle car. I really like this one.

5. 1967 Camaro- The car that started this legend. It is a classic,in every since of the word.

Top 5 best Ford Mustangs

 Ford sure has put together quite the stable of pony cars over the years. Why not put together my own (unpopular opinion-filled) list of the best ones? Well,that's what I'm gonna do.

1. Mustang Mclaren M81- This is the greatest Mustang ever built. From the beautifully aerodynamic body to the Mclaren tuned four-cylinder engine and suspension,it is the pinnacle of Mustang-dom.

2.Mustang II Mach 1- It handles really well. It's also more of a Mustang than the Mach E(ry).

 

3. 1964 convertible- The first gen Mustang was quite the car. It may not have been very fast,but it looked good and seemed to drive well.

4. 2009 Lee Iacocca 45th Anniversary Edition- I love the Bentley-like body. It's the best looking Mustang ever built in my opinion.

5. 2015 Mustang- This thing was brand new when I was still in elementary school. I loved the way it looked then,and I love it now.

Car Alternate Histories: Merkur

 Welcome to me trying my hand at making my own version of Merkur (pronounced Mare-Coor) with more models and different variants of the models they already had. Also,Land Rover is still owned by Rover,(and they also own part of MINI) and Ford would have bought them both in the 1980s and not the 2000s just to fit the narrative. With that,let's begin.

The Sierra and Scorpio would have come to the U.S,still but the specific models would be different for my Merkur. I'd sell the RS500 Cosworth as simply the "Sierra" (because in this timeline Olds and GMC never used the name) in place of the XR4Ti . (Note: I know that the Rs500 didn't exist at the time,but that's where alternate history comes into play.) The Scorpio would be the Estate (Wagon) version. I would also throw in the Mclaren M81 Mustang,known now as the "Stallion" as the first new model. The other new car would be the Riley Elf (AKA luxury MINI) thanks to Ford having bought Rover group. It would have all the high performance bits of the Cooper S and would still make use of the "Elf" name. I would market the brand by changing the Ford sponsorship of the Tyrell Formula 1 team to that of Merkur,alongside entering the Hornet in rally races. I would also air T.V,print,radio,and billboard ads portraying the cars as luxurious,yet exciting. Also Merkur would get its own dealers that would follow the Saturn formula of haggle-free pricing and salespeople that don't try to pressure you into buying their vehicles. The end result would be targeting the people who normally be buying a BMW or Audi,like the one we actually got,but the approach would be different. And that would conclude the Merkur lineup of the 1980s. There may be a part 2 if I come up with more ideas for the brand's future.

All Of The Transformers Bumblebee Camaros,ranked

 The Transformers movies are some of my favorites,and one yellow Autobot has become known for being a Chevrolet Camaro. So I thought it would be fun to rank all of the Camaros (Including the one from Rise of the Beasts) that have played Bumblebee. 

8. The Last Knight

This isn't even a Camaro anymore,it's been so mutilated. Welcome to ugly city,population: This thing.

 7. Transformers Version 2.

I like the Camaro concept car,but it doesn't have as much personality as some of the others. It just feels like the bare minimum.

6.Dark Of The Moon

It was cool looking,but still not the best Bumblebee. I liked the carbon fiber (because I'm a sucker for the stuff),but nothing else really stood out to me.

5. Revenge Of The Fallen

It was a good Z28 tribute,but the scrapped idea of a black convertible with yellow stripes was just cooler. That's all I gotta say.

4. Age Of Extinction Version 2

I don't know why,but I really like this one. It just looks so cool.

4. Bumblebee ending scene

This one is good looking.  I dig the '70s Camaro look,but you'll see the ones that do it better for the next two.

3. Transformers Version 1

I like this "beater" version of the above car. It's got this rat rod charm.

2. Rise Of The Beasts

I also really love the offroad version of the '77 Camaro. It just looks epic.

1. Age Of Extinction Version 1

I love hotrods and this thing is one of the coolest hotrods around. This is the one I would be most likely to drive in real life.

Top 5 Formula 1 cars

 Welcome to this ranking of some of the best cars in the world. Warning: It's mostly going to be Lotus cars with the Cosworth DFV engine.  

1. Lotus 79

Aerodynamics are beautiful. By that logic ,this surely must be the automotive Mona Lisa. It was unstoppable during its time due to its wind-cheating abilities.

2. Ferrari 641

Built to be the best, it succeeded and in the process became my favorite Ferrari ever. Period. You can't convince me otherwise. 

3. Lotus 25

The first real moncoque in F1 looked good while innovating. It truly was an amazing car for its time. I love this mean green machine.

4. Alfa Romeo 159 Alfetta

A legendary race car from a simpler time. I love old school racing and this car is the epitome of that. It truly is a special car.

5. Lotus 72

This thing could have been championship material. Due to the passing of Jochen Rhindt it never happened. Never the less, it was a really good racing car and invented the "John Player Special" paint scheme. 

(updated) top 5 Pixar Cars Characters

 Welcome to the updated version of my Pixar Cars ranking. The rules are still the same: Only movie characters are allowed and I have to pick best and worst. Other than that,there are no rules. So let's begin.

1.(Best) Lewis Hamilton- The greatest F1 driver ever playing himself. Plus, he gets to be a Mclaren GT car.

2. (Best) Rusty and Dusty- Ah yes,the Car Talk guys acting like themselves. Did I mention that I love this franchise?

3.  Junior "Midnight" Moon- Junior Johnson,the bootlegger,racer,and voice of a Ford Coupe that he himself owns. That's awesome as I'll get out.

4. Doc Hudson- Based on a true racing story,I really enjoy this one. It also helps that I love the (real) Hudson Hornet quite a bit. 

5. Micheal Schumacher Ferrari- It pains me to put another one of my favorite F1 drivers so low. But his character hardly did anything in the movie. (I know that Lewis Hamilton didn't either,but he at least got to race some.) 

1. (Worst) Mia and Tia- Annoying,that's what these two Miatas are. Nothing more,nothing less,just annoying.

2 (Worst) Harv- No face to go along with him,just a voice? Wasted chance if you ask me.

3. (Worst) Minny and Van- They share one brain cell,they go from one being the smart one,to the other being smart. I just don't get it.

4. (Worst) Francesco Bernoulli- We finally get a F1 style car in the movies,cool,but his actual character is so egotistical and unlikable. They almost had it right.

5. (Worst) Sven-  He was just a parody of "Ah-nold" In the vein of Hans and Franz,but not actually funny. I just think his time on screen was blissfully short.  

Building my dream garage

If I could have any cars in my garage,I know what I would pick,but I would have to do it by category. Said categories help me narrow down my car choices. With that out of the way: Let's jump in.

Movie Car (in general): Herbie unit 2 from The Love Bug

JDM Legend: Mazda Rx-7 FC

American Muscle: Hudson Hornet convertible

Race Car: Kasey Kahne's number 9 Charger

Ferrari: 641

Lamborghini: Espada 

BMW: 502 convertible 

Porsche: 914 limited edition "creamsicle"

Motorcycle: Vespa Sei Giorni 

Daily Diver: VW Type 2 Camper Conversion

Bond Car: Lotus Esprit Turbo (copper) from For Your Eyes Only

Batmobile: The 1966 Batmobile

MINI: MG Type M prototype 

Mustang: Mustang McLaren M81

Camaro/Firebird: Pegasus Ferrari powered concept

Charger: The General Lee

Corvette: XP-897 Rotary Engine concept

Welcome to my blog

 Welcome, all! My name is Joe Swenson and I have Autism. I am extremely obsessed with cars and want to become an automotive journalist. So this blog is here to give me some practice. With that intro out of the way, here's some facts about my taste in cars. My dream car is a VW Beetle, but I wouldn't be caught dead in a Fiat Multipla (pre-facelift). My favorite Dodge Charger is the Shelby GLHS turbo. It doesn't matter that it's front wheel drive and doesn't have a V8,what matters is that it seems to be fun to drive and still keeps the sports car nature of the original. I haven't driven anything outside of a DMV training Chevy and my Mom's Caravan ,so I wouldn't know. My favorite Mustang is the Mclaren M81. My favorite Camaro is the 1992-2002 "Catfish" Camaro because of how easy to tune it is. Hopefully this helps you realize, I like weird,quirky cars. I am not a sucker for supercars, Numbers on a sheet don't mean a thing if it's not fun to drive as well as being fast. For styling, I love the chrome and finned '50s,but hate the "high-tech" (I.E generic) look most new cars have.  And for engines, I don't hate electric cars, but I much prefer gas. My favorite engine ever built was the Cosworth DFV Formula 1 racing engine. My least favorite without a doubt is the Volkswagen "clean" diesel that caused the emission scandel. My favorite General Motors brand is Buick, for Chrysler I like Eagle, and Merkur for Ford. They're also all dead due to budget reasons. My favorite car movie is The Love Bug. My favorite F1 team was Team Lotus but because they no longer exist,I like Scuderia Ferrari. My favorite driver is Lewis Hamilton. Finally, my favorite modification type is the hot rod style and my least favorite is the donk/giant wheels style. So hopefully this little intro helps you learn more about me and the types of car stuff I cover.